I write books. I run a site about books. Of course I want my daughter to love them. And that's exactly the problem.
When you want something very much for your child, you start trying. Charts, rules, the perfect shelf, the right book at the right age. All of it from love. And children can feel the weight of a parent's hope, even when it's gentle.
What trying too hard looks like
I've caught myself at the start of it. Planning which books she should read and when. Imagining the day she opens one of mine. Wanting her first chapter books to be the right ones. It's well meant. It's also a lot to put on a five-year-old.
You can't make a child love something. You can only make sure they meet it in good conditions.
What I'm doing instead
Less. On purpose.
- Reading to her because I enjoy it, not because it's good for her
- Letting her choose, including the books I wouldn't
- Not asking what she learned
- Not making reading a gate to anything else
- Reading my own books where she can see me
- Letting days without books be days without books
None of it is a strategy. It's more like stepping out of the way.
The Reading Rule I've Decided Not to Make
Reading Is Not Homework. Let's Stop Treating It Like One.
What I hope for
Not that she becomes a reader because I'm one. Not that she reads my books. That one day she finds a book she can't put down, on her own, with nobody watching. And that when it happens, she feels it's hers.
For other parents who want it too much
You're not doing anything wrong by wanting it. Just hold it a little more loosely. Leave the books around, keep reading aloud, and trust that love for stories grows best where nobody is pulling at it.
My Daughter Is Five and a Half. She Hasn't Read My Books.
After thirty days of writing about reading, family and the people we live with, this is the thing I most believe. Tell me what you believe after reading along. I read every comment.
I read, I choose, and I write about the books that stay with me. I also write The Keeper Chronicles.
Raising readers, one week at a time.
Once a week: a short personal note, one article about reading or family life, one practical idea to try, and a question you can answer just by replying. One email a week, never a sales pitch.
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