I abandon books. Often. As someone who runs a site about books, I probably shouldn't admit that, but it's true. Life is short and the pile is tall, and some books are simply not for me, or not for me right now.
So why do so many of us expect children to finish every book they start?
Where the rule comes from
It comes from a good place. We want children who finish things, who don't give up at the first difficulty. That's a real lesson. But a book that a child hates is a strange place to teach it, because what they learn isn't persistence. It's that reading is something you suffer through.
Make a child finish a book they hate and you rarely teach them to persevere. You teach them that books can trap you.
When it's worth a little push
Not every “I don't like it” means the same thing.
- The slow start. Some books take a few chapters to catch. Agree to read to a certain point together, then decide
- The hard bit. If they're stuck on a difficult passage, help them over it, and let the story pull them on
- The assigned book. School books sometimes have to be finished. Read it alongside them, out loud if you can
When to let go
- They are dreading it every time
- The book is too old or too young for them
- They have tried in good faith and nothing in it speaks to them
- Reading time has turned into negotiation time
Letting go isn't failure. It's taste. Children who are allowed to stop reading books they hate become adults who know what they love.
How to let go well
Make it a choice, not a defeat. “This one isn't for you. That's allowed. What would you like instead?” Then go and find the next book together, quickly, before the gap becomes a habit.
When a book is the right one: 5 Ways to Help a Reluctant Reader Finish It
When a Child Doesn't Like Reading, Start by Stopping
Try the “three chapters” rule at home: give a book a fair chance, then let your child decide. Tell me how it goes.
I read, I choose, and I write about the books that stay with me. I also write The Keeper Chronicles.
Raising readers, one week at a time.
Once a week: a short personal note, one article about reading or family life, one practical idea to try, and a question you can answer just by replying. One email a week, never a sales pitch.
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